What's it about?
A writer, his love affair, and a mysterious murder.
What;d I experience?
My first mistake might have been going to see Suicide Squad before going to see Crimes and Crimes. Not just because the movie was incredibly exhilarating and I was already expecting everything in the world to be better after leaving the theatre, but it left me drained from all the action. Which makes zero sense since I was sitting in a reclined chair for 2 hours and 30 minutes. Even though I was a little tired, I was still really excited to go see Crimes and Crimes.
At this point I’ve read so many show descriptions that I almost always have no clue what to expect as I’m getting in my seat. So, when I see a person dressed as a dog (that kind of resembled a mop) - I was really confused. I mean there was a picture of a dog on the program, but I still had no clue if I ever read anything about a dog when deciding to go to this play. Anyway, grown adult in a dog costume aside, the show itself was... the best way to put it into words would be a bootleg Woody Allen love story.
The way the characters spoke was so unnatural. Like, Maurice for example is a narcissistic writer, so it’s funny that he actually speaks like an asshole version of Edgar Allan Poe. I actually thought about the soap operas my mum watches and how ridiculously dramatic the dialogue is. So exaggerated I actually made the sound effects in my head, just adding “dun dun dun” at the end of every sentence. *Highly recommend*
The story gets more and more ridiculous as it goes on. It starts out as Maurice, a playwright in NYC, who gets into an affair with a women named Henriette - who I still have no clue what she does for a living. The relationship gets even more complicated when Maurice finds it harder to part with his beloved dog, Maid Marian, than his wife, Jane. Just when I thought the dude was the crazy one, enter Henriette - winning psychopath mistress of the year.
At first I couldn’t make it through any of Henriette's lines without cringing, but slowly she turned into one of those people that are so wild it's actually entertaining to see them torture someone else. Henriette is a crazy b*tch, so naturally when Maid Marian, the dog, is murdered she's the prime suspect. Soon enough they went from going at it like rabbits to pointing the finger at each other.
I’m pretty sure anyone who remotely understands my love for animals would be confused about my hating that fact that all the crap that happens in the second half of the story is over a freaking dog. I get it, dogs are precious, but why did no one ever think that Marian might have just been old? She's 10, that's like almost 80 in dog years. After having a conversation with a friend of mine, he summed up what I had been thinking but hadn’t been capable of wording - “that’s some white people shit”. The more I think about it who else would go as far as getting an investigator for the ‘murder’ of a dog? Just sayin’.