POST: 'Women Without Men' - why women suck

What's it about?

Women Without Men is a play that is set in an Irish all girls boarding school where instead of the children being our main attraction, it is the teachers who we are focused on. We watch as curiously, the adults of the school act far more childish than the children do themselves.

What'd I experience?

There are currently beads of sweat trailing down my face because I’m about to try to discuss possibly the worst topic a person, of any gender, can try to discuss online. And to top it all off, I have a rather unpopular opinion.

Okay fine, I’ll stop stalling. Well, thing is, I’m going to try to explain to you why women suck.

As a precaution I’m going to advise that you don’t inform anyone on tumblr or Twitter about this, I’d rather not be bombarded by those wretched “I’M TRIGGERED” messages. Just picture me on my knees begging PLEASE.

So, why do women suck? You may be wondering. I am quite positive you already have your own answers to that question but I’ll list mine off anyways.

How do I disfavor thee? Let me count the ways.

*These examples do not only just fit the play. Women suck because of all these reasons in real life too.*

1) Women are catty: In the play, when one of the teachers has a bad day and it is as if everyone is fair game to enjoy a good vicious verbal rumble.

2) Women are smart and quick-witted: Even the “stupid” characters in this play are smart. Every word spoken out of their mouth is really coming out of their ass. One of the characters only serving purpose is to strategically complain so the rest of the women would be riled up.

3) Women get into your mind and psychologically destroy you: It’s like the characters in Women Without Men play psychological chess during every second of their lives. When one character moves their Queen one space to the left, another counterbalances that move and moves their Queen one space to the right.

4) Women all want to be liked but don’t know how to chill out: The previously “most popular teacher” is denounced from her throne when the new teacher arrives for the term. Once she had learned about her sudden lack of popularity and that the flowers and the hordes of students weren’t for her how did she react? She decides to ruin the new girl’s life by making her feel uncomfortable about all the attention she’s getting.

5) Women take personal offense to everything said to them: When asked to tidy up her belongings during the very beginning of the play, our lovely old French teacher recoiled and felt personally attacked. Moaning and groaning about how no one cares about her well being.

6) Women gossip like it’s no one else’s business: There are so many different and equally as horrible examples I can take from the play that my mind can’t even comprehend what I’m currently typing right now - it's like a brain fart except times that by a million.  

7) Women are passive aggressive: The women in this play hide their anger through impressively thick layers of passive aggressiveness, like delicious woven French pastries. But instead of the filling being yummy jam or cream, these pastries are filled with unadulterated hate. “Wow, those flowers are lovely…” “Oh, haha, you couldn’t possibly understand beauty…”

8) Women are hardworking: Teachers have one of the hardest jobs to date. Now imagine you’re required to live on campus and you only have a half day of break once a week. Our characters work so hard day in and day out that they have no time to enjoy themselves. Of course they’re angry and pent up all the time.

9) Women want to make their lives and the lives around them difficult: All the bickering and conniving treachery that goes on between our main characters do nothing but make their lives miserable. But when this fact is made apparent do they stop? No, they laugh it off and chug along.

10) Women are evil, it’s plain and simple.  

Incredibly thick satire and sarcasm aside, I don’t really hate women because last time I checked, I am one. So you all can put your pitchforks and torches away because sadly, there’s no need for a mob today. 

But in all seriousness, there are a lot of things we do that are very questionable and I’ve always wondered why exactly we do it.

But, c'est la vie. Women, am I right? 


 

Want to see it?

$29 Tickets
(TDF Membership)

Women Without Men
Mint Theater Co.
thru Mar. 26