Christine @ 'The Hollower' - I don’t know pig anatomy, google that sh*t.

What's it about?

A girl trying to grow up way too fast, while her lesbian foster mum tries to get her sh*t together. Oh, and there is a Pig-man podcaster. 

My experience.

We’re gonna make this more of a train of thought style cause….this sh*t was weird af. Enjoy the mess!

I am looking down at this paper and it says ‘4th floor’, but I am also looking to my right and there is no elevator?

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Da fuq?

It’s the summer in NYC… so you want me to die before I even make it to your play? Da hell.

Ugghhhh my legggssss, but like this counts as today’s workout, right? Lie to me, please!

Ok, finally...fuck are they going in? Nevermind, he’s coming back to check me in. No he is not, he’s gonna talk to some chick first. I’m dripping in sweat, but sure take your time. Finally, I hear the A/C, but it must be on low. This girl in front of me deadass has written two pages in her notepad and the play hasn’t even started...like what are you writing? That the air conditioner may or may not be on?

When is this starting that’s what you should write… And I am sitting in the dark. Guess it’s starting.

This lady is just standing there...and now there is this other chick wearing all pink. BAHAHAHA! She is about to break her back from wearing those heels.

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Lookin’ like Bambi trying to walk LOL

Wow that joke might have been too soon, because it looks like she is a Bambi. Apparently this is a sort of foster relationship and she isn’t with her real mum... I’m fucked up, shocker! Also I swear she is wearing the dress I made in my middle school fashion class 😂😂 It’s a #LEWK

This is all fun and great, but where is the Pigman? I want my 🐖!

This little...bish. She really just roasted her foster parent. I think it’s a known fact that someone’s self deprecation is your chance to compliment them or something, but she really just went IN on her instead. Honestly though, let me shut up cause I can fucking relate to not catching people’s drift when they want me to say something nice ⬇️

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Me missing every social cue

Oh God! Is that...? Holy shit, that’s the - that’s the Pigman. Is he coming through the window? Oh, he is. Yup, he just came through the window...and now he is downing a full glass on whiskey.

He isn’t as horrifying as I want him to be, but so far all of this has been weird enough that I’m unsettled enough and can’t look away from his stumpy pig hand - foot? I don’t know pig anatomy, google that sh*t.

This would be a great time to let him know that we eat his kind in Ecuador, well everyone besides me. I mean the 100% pig not this half-man half-pig situation. But like duh, we aren’t cannibals.

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Duh

Oh, HE IS WEIRD. Then again, what can you expect from a Pigman, ya feel? He really just gave me that Craiglist scam vibe 😂 Like, how do you have a ‘known’ podcast and no one has ever heard of it? But like why can he also be the person running the Wendy’s twitter? If you don’t know what I mean by this….click on this. This will explain it all or nothing. You’re welcome.

Wow, wow, wow, so update on the little chick in pink (who looks like 26, but is playing a 16 year old, ok sure #TypicalTheatreShit). So, she is trying to be all grown and shit, but YOU’RE 16! You have all your 20’s to be a lil hoe, why bother with all this before your boobs have even come in. Damn, these Kylie Jenner looking kids out here stressed about the most adult things. When I was 16, you wanna know how dumb I was? I confused one of my friends conversation about giving her BF a “gift” that starts with a B and ends with a J (you know what it is 😉 ya nasty ) with her blow drying his hair! I was like, these girls whispering and blushing over blow drying a boy's hair...so dramatic. My poor ears :(

Ok, we are hella fast forwarding toward the end because YOU NEED TO SEE THIS! So I’ll avoid spoilers. But like I still low key want the last scene’s song to be on iTunes. You know those songs that you just have no clue what they are about, but like it just feelzzz right - this is mine.

This dude (who is so hot) is wearing like a trendy American Apparel lookin pink crop top and skirt and singing with the voice of an angel and then all of sudden in his best screamo voice just goes….MUSCLE, MUSCLE, MUSCLE!

JAJAJAJAJAJA that sh*t was so funny, I am laughing in Spanish! About to walk out of here with abs 😂

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